Copy a passage that you believe is especially good writing. (It should be about 1-2 paragraphs long.)
My ma warned us about the mangle, to stay away from it, to not mess with it. The rolls were hard but only rubber. I scratched a mark on the bottom one with the bread-knife. I loved it in the kitchen- the steam and the heat- when my ma was putting the sheets through the mangle, and my da's shirts. The sheets were shiny with huge wet bubbles and my ma put a corner up to the mangle and turned the handle and the sheet rose out of the water like a whale being caught. The water ran down the sheet and the bubbles were crushed as the sheet was pulled through the rolls and came out flat, looking like material again, the shininess all gone. Another sheet, the rubber creaked and groaned, then the rest slid through easily. She wouldn't let me help. She only let me stand behind the washing machine and guide the sheet into the red basin. The sheet was warm and kind of solid and hard. My fingers were safe on that side. The smaller clothes came through and I caught them and put them on top of the sheets. The basin was full. She had to empty the machine now and fill it again for the nappies. The steam in the kitchen is what I really liked, and the wet on the walls. PG(121)
In a clearly supported paragraph or two, explain why you believe that passage is especially good writing. Provide specific examples that you quote.
All of the writing in Paddy Clarke is fantastic but I chose this example because it shows how good Doyle is at writing through the eyes of a child. Children speak and think in ways that don't make sense grammatically but perfectly capture what they see or feel. They also have an alarming attention to detail and relationship with their environment and Doyle brings both out in his writing.
"She only let me stand behind the washing machine and guide the sheet into the red basin. The sheet was warm and kind of solid and hard. My fingers were safe on that side."
Doyle also describes action and images so well. A wet sheet being pulled through and old fashioned washer must look exactly like Doyle's description to a child. Doyle is able to capture the imagination of a child thoughts.
"The sheets were shiny with huge wet bubbles and my ma put a corner up to the mangle and turned the handle and the sheet rose out of the water like a whale being caught."
Re-write the passage from another narrative perspective, paying attention to tone and diction. (1st person, 2nd person, 3rd person)
Paddy walked into the kitchen. It was warm and damp and his mother was doing the laundry near the door. The shirts and sheets were being cleaned first with the washing mangle. Paddy’s mother had spent some time explaining to him the dangers of the washer. With its rubber rollers a misplaced finger could be crushed in seconds. Once, out of curiosity, Paddy had carved a small bit of rubber out of the lowest roller. Paddy would watch with amazement when his mother put a sheet in the rollers. It would come out wet and with a shine to it. Paddy imagined a whale being towed in by the rollers.
“Ma, can I help?” Paddy asked.
“No Paddy. “ His Mother replied.
He turned, looking defeated.
“Just make sure the sheet gets in the bin, love.”
Paddy turned back and looked as though nothing had been said. He would stand on the opposite side of the washer from his mother where there was no risk to his fingers. As the sheets would push their way out of the rollers Paddy would let them flow over his hands to feel the warmth and odd texture. Once the basin was full his mother would have to empty the machine and refill it for Sinbad’s Diapers.
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